When you give a girl a compliment, she’s going to act surprised. When she acts surprised, she’s going to also tell you how unattractive she thinks she is. When she’s finished, she’ll give you a much nicer compliment…and then the cycle goes on and on.
I cannot count how many times I’ve heard this exact exchange go on between two girls. A girl receives a compliment and voluntarily tells the other person there’s no way it’s true. I’m hideous, what could this other person possibly be talking about!? My hair looks good? Ew, no way, it hasn’t been washed in three days and I just rolled out of bed without spending any time on it today. This dress is cute? Oh it’s just a cheap thing I bought at the store two years ago.
Doesn’t it take you all back to that scene in Mean Girls where they all are standing around the mirror, talking about what they hate about themselves, just so that the other girls will say it’s not true?
As girls, I think we can (for the most part) agree that our perception of compliments is skewed. Of course, there are the compliments we genuinely mean and those that we genuinely appreciate, but there is a whole different breed beyond that.
How is that we validate ourselves by belittling ourselves? When did it ever become okay to put ourselves down as much as we do? If we think this is the right way to answer compliments, we need to think again.
It is completely okay to accept a compliment and, it gets better, feel good about it. We’re allowed to say Thank You and smile and go about our day just like that. We don’t ever need to say, “Oh, this ol’ thing? It’s nothin’!” Cause guess what? It’s something!
This also includes those weird Instagram-comments girls love to leave on each other’s pictures. It usually goes something like this…
Lisa, you are so gorgeous. I wish I was you! Ugh!
Annie, oh my gosh stop! I WISH I was as pretty as you were!
Don’t tell me you’ve never seen one of those conversation and, furthermore, silently groaned.
Maybe this whole things came about because we feel we’ll be seen as conceited or “stuck-up” if we simply say Thank You to a compliment.
But, ladies, what is wrong with that?
It is okay to love the way you look and it’s okay to be confident about it. It isn’t conceited if we thank someone for a compliment. It also isn’t conceited if we don’t return a compliment.
We need to think about what we’re doing to ourselves and those around us when we belittle a compliment. It’s as if you’re telling yourself you’re never going to be good enough. And sure, at first it may just be a way of answering a compliment, but it can be something you honestly start to believe if you say it enough times.
Beyond that even, we need to pay attention to the message we’re sending to other girls, especially the young ones. If we want them to love themselves and be proud of who they are, that extends to how we answer compliments, as well. Whether we realize it or not, we’re subconsciously telling other girls how they should feel about themselves every time we answer one.
So, it’s time we take pride in the way that we look. If you know you spent a lot of time on your make-up that day and you know it looks good, go you! Be proud of that. Don’t ever feel as though you need to hide it or talk it down to less than it is. It’s okay to look in the mirror and think, damn I look good today.
And the next time you receive a compliment, just try saying Thank You. So much rides on those two simple words.And the next time you receive a compliment, just try saying Thank You. So much rides on those two simple words. Click To Tweet