Why Validation is an Addiction

Today, I decided to be a kid again with my boyfriend and go sledding. For a while, it was just us and it was “just like it used to be,” when we came to this hill as kids. After a while, two girls showed up and, as soon as they climbed to the top of the hill, pulled out their phones. As they slid down the hill, phones were in hand and they were (I assume) recording the adventure for Snapchat. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but it continued the entire time we were there. After a while, they just laid on the top of the hill, taking selfies instead of sledding at all.

I had to wonder what the point of going sledding was, if you were just going to stay on your phone the entire time, trying to prove to everyone how great of a time it is. It would have been such a cool video to watch someone sledding down a hill, but how many videos do you need!?

However, I knew I couldn’t judge them, because I knew I was guilty of the same things. I saw a little bit of myself in those girls.

How many of us spend five minutes editing the perfect Instagram picture? And before that, we spend even longer getting it set up, just right. 100 takes for just one perfectly-posed portrait. You have to make sure you’re smiling. That you’re sucking in. That your hands are placed in the right spot. The list is endless.

And at the end, you never find one you’re 100% happy with, just 95%. There’s always another flaw to pick out.

Or how about when we try to make a great Snapchat story, like those girls did. Someone’s gotta be laughing. We have to make sure we look presentable. Make other people wish they were here, enjoying this. So many things running through our mind, that we forget to even enjoy what we’re actually doing.

If we don’t catch ourselves, we can become those girls. Or maybe we already are, and don’t realize it.

But…why does this matter?

Because we’re seeking validation from those around us. We want everyone to tell us that we look cool. That they’re jealous. That they think we’re flawless and beautiful and gorgeous.

More than anything, we want people to like us.
The worst part is that sometimes we don’t even realize that we do it. It’s subliminal. Built into our brains. Like breathing.
And I say to hell with that.

Who cares what you look like in your Facebook profile picture or how much unbelievable fun you’re having at that event (that probably isn’t even that great)?

I read this great quote the other day that said;

Seeking validation is the same as saying, “tell me who I am!” “Tell me what I’m worth!”

Instead, we should be spending our time showing the world what we have to offer on the inside. Who are we beneath that outer layer?

Don’t be afraid to show your flaws. No one, not one person on this Earth is perfect. We need to stop acting like we are.

At the end of the day, the only person who we should be seeking any kind of approval from is God.

Does he care more whether we bought a cute outfit or whether we forgave someone we’d been harboring anger toward?

Go ahead and put yourself out there, but do it for the right reasons.

Impact people positively. Inspire them. Spread God’s love. Talk about the hard things. Just do something worthwhile with it, even if it’s nothing more than just erasing your need for validation from every thing you do.

And don’t forget to just live your life in the process. Not every moment needs to be accompanied by a phone or camera. Nothing you do needs to analyzed and planned out to the point where people think you’re flawless.

If you really want others to love you, love yourself.

If you really want others to love you, love yourself. Click To Tweet



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *