As I’ve mentioned before, my favorite posts to write are the ones where I get to share some advice or story that I’ve learned in my own life. Plus, they tend to do the best too. (Win-win!? I think so.)
This one just so happens to be about my favorite person on the face of this planet. My love!
Background: His name is Jack. We’ve been together for 2.5 years (a little less than two when medical school started). He’s the love of my life. And he’s really cute!!!
Anyway…this August, my boyfriend started his journey through medical school. He’s about to finish his first year, and I can’t help but find myself a little shocked. How did that much time fly by? It’s been nine months that feel like two.
I often find myself looking back on how worried we both were before it began.
Neither of us knew what it would be like, and there really wasn’t much to give us any hint. I remember scouring the internet trying to find people’s stories about how they did it. If they did it. I was so worried and definitely anticipated the worst. (Something I tend to do way too often.)
I honestly thought that I’d never see him, especially because we live an hour and a half apart to begin with. I’d be going from seeing him all the time (we went to the same school & live very close together at home), to the exact opposite. It scared me. So many times I wondered if it was worth it. I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle that change. (First-world problems, I know…)
The thing I remember most though, is that there was almost nothing online to tell me what it’d be like. I read maybe one or two stories…and they both said they lived with their SO and saw them once a week. That was terrifying. And definitely not what I needed to hear.
We both over-anticipated the amount of time my boyfriend would need for studying, and because of that, he missed a couple of fun things during that first month. I couldn’t blame him, though, because he needed to get his feet wet and understand what he’d be dealing with.
However, the first few months were a lot better than we thought. Most of those months were a review of what he’d learned in college, and he had a lot of free time. Yes, he still studied a ton, but he was free a lot more than I thought, too. I think he honestly spent more time outside in August and September than I did…oops. Plus, I was still living at home, which was a lot closer to his school than when I was at school. Simple. Piece of cake.
The struggle came when I moved back for classes and got busy. He did too. He missed a lot of things I wanted him to come to, but so did I. It was a balancing act, one that was super hard to figure out. We saw each other about once a week, and sometimes it was more than that.
Honestly, though, I didn’t mind this. We both had a ton going on, and time flew by until I got to see him again. Plus, it made us appreciate the time we had together.
We were lucky and got to see each other during Christmas break, but not a ton. We both had separate vacations to go on and couldn’t be together for NYE.
Our secret was that we worked hard while we were apart because we knew if we didn’t, we couldn’t spend time together. Sometimes, we’d do work at each other’s places, and that helped too. I didn’t mind doing my homework at his house, just as long as we were together.
If we had something important that we wanted the other person to go to, we would let them know way in advance, and it usually worked out fine.
Looking back on those nine months, a lot has changed. It forced us to think about the seriousness of our relationship, and how much it really meant to us. We really had to have a strong desire to stay together, because it wasn’t easy to make it work.
There were arguments, a lot of arguments. It took us a while to get into a routine and get used to not seeing each other a lot. FaceTime calls were something that happened every night, even if just for five minutes.
However, I wouldn’t change this year for the world. I know it strengthened our relationship beyond comparison. Not only did we figure out distance, we also figured out how to date with busy lives. And we succeeded. I feel so lucky to have him in my life and I know we can get through anything this life will throw at us.
I have no worries for next year, when we both only get busier, because people always find time for their priorities, and he’s mine.
Although it’s a change, it isn’t as scary as people say it is. It’s just another stepping stone in life. One that isn’t permanent. Don’t forget there is an end to this part of life, and it does get better.
Do you have any questions that I didn’t answer? Comment below or contact me on social media and I’d be happy to talk about it,