What I Wish I Could Tell My High-School Self

Dear High-School Me,

I know you think you’ve got it all figured out. You’re going to college, to work in the fashion industry, and you’ll live in a big city. You’re going to be married at 26 and have three kids. You know about life, and you don’t need to question anything, because what else could you possibly learn that you don’t already know? You think you’re so over the high school scene, because it’s so petty and restricted.

I mean, I have to commend you for always having a plan. However, along with being one of the best things about you, it can also be the worst. Don’t forget that you’re so young and you don’t need to have anything figured out. Because even if you do, I promise most of it will change. And so will you.

[ctt template=”2″ link=”KGBay” via=”yes” ] you don’t need to have anything figured out. Because even if you do, I promise most of it will change[/ctt]

Don’t spend time chasing boys, popularity & the newest fashion trends. All of the things that you really need, you have. There’s a reason why the more things you chase & get, the less satisfied you feel. Trust that good things will come, right when they’re supposed to. And if you don’t get something you wanted, it’s always for a good reason.

Stay out of drama.

Period.

The second you see it happening, get to the source and extinguish it. Don’t play those games, because they’re never-ending and you’ll never grow.

Sometimes, though, you can’t put out those dangerous flames, no matter what you do. In that case, leave. Get far, far away and don’t ever come back. Creating and contributing to drama can be an easy pattern to fall into, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right one. Be a big enough person to draw the line and walk away. I can one-hundred-percent promise you that if you’re friends with someone who always seems to be a circle of drama, they’re not a friend you need in your life.

On the flip side, don’t be the one to start it, either. There are much better & more mature ways to handle situations and feelings than that.

Regarding friends, one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is that some of these people you’re surrounded with now will leave your life in the future. When your lives start to go in different paths, you’ll realize who is truly your friend and who is just your friend because it’s convenient when you’re around each other every day. Don’t be sad when you lose them, though, feel lucky. You’ll learn something beautiful from every person you meet.

You remember how I mentioned not to chase boys? Well, I mean it. I’m not saying to squash any inkling of a romantic interest in someone that you have, but don’t center your world around romance. At your age, having a relationship can seem like the most important thing in the world. And when you’re finally in one, it can seem like the only thing in the world. It’s not. There are far bigger things to set your sights on. Date boys, learn what you want and what you’re worth, but never let that consume you.

[ctt template=”2″ link=”7IvfA” via=”yes” ]Date boys, learn what you want and what you’re worth, but never let that consume you.[/ctt]

Dating, of course, can lead to breaking up. Newsflash, though! Break-ups are not the end of everything. It’ll definitely seem like it is and that’s okay. You need to put your entire heart into that first love, and feel the intense pain, in order to grow. This will teach you what your boundaries are and no, unlike what everyone says, won’t make you build a wall around your heart that can never come down. You can love like that again and, honestly, it’ll be better the second time, because now you cherish and appreciate it.

And, Amanda, I know it sucks!

But when you’re sitting there through your first real heartbreak, you’ll find your passion for writing. It’s going to become your outlet and, eventually, how you speak to the world. You’ll also discover how much you’re worth and how you deserve to be treated, even if it takes you a few times to realize it. So much good comes from those moments when you think your whole world is falling apart.

Don’t hate him, either, because he’s going to teach you so much about yourself. Be thankful.

As for grades? Don’t worry about them. You’ll still get where you want, without straight A’s in your classes. Take school seriously, but don’t treat it as be-all, end-all. Once you get into college, those grades won’t matter. What will, however, is what you learned in all of them.

I’m not necessarily talking about the actual material you’re taught, either. Sometimes, the best lessons aren’t the ones your teachers give you.

Sometimes, the best lessons aren't the ones your teachers give you. Click To Tweet

Take time to figure out what you love, but don’t think you have to have it figured out when you graduate. Your passions will change so much before you realize what you want to do with your life. Honestly, you might never know. Even at 55. Be okay with that. Remember that no one ever completely knows what they’re doing in life, some are just better at faking it than others.

When you finally do choose a college major one day, make sure it’s the one where your heart is. Don’t worry about money. If you love what you do, and you have enough drive to get there, everything else will fall into place too.

Save your money. I don’t think I need to say anything else about that. Just save it.

And once you graduate, move away for a while. Take yourself out of that small town and see the world. Literally. Your view of how everything works is so small, and you’re going to miss so much if you don’t explore it all.

One day, you’ll come back and be grateful that you left and changed, but also that you have this place to return to and call home. It will mean so much more to you once you have the world to compare it to. Nothing will ever be quite as welcoming as the place that raised you.

Remember, most of all, that high school is such a small spec in your life. It may seem like everything while you’re in it, but it’s just not. You’ll take a lot from it, but you’ll also grow so much after it. Let me repeat; high school is not forever, and neither is any of the stuff that happens during it. I’m talking good and bad. Make the most of your time there, but also remember that things will get better.

 

Love,

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