(This post is written for all my Christ-following ladies, but even if you aren’t religious, I encourage you to read it anyway & take what you will from it.)
Every day, I get so many women who contact me asking how to find a Godly relationship in their lives.
I’m just kidding. I don’t. I thought it might be fun for a second to pretend I’m a huge YouTuber or Blogger, who gets thousands of e-mails from fans asking for advice. That’s the dream and the goal, but it isn’t written in the cards for me…yet.
However, I do think that’s a question a lot of women ask themselves, because I know I used to do that all the time. I imagine other women’s minds aren’t much different, cause let’s face it, we all want to find love at some point or another. Now, I’m no “love guru” and I by no means know everything about love. BUT, the one thing I’ve found that we all need a little work on is raising our standards.
Okay, no. I know what you’re thinking. And you don’t need to raise them so high that you’ll only date a man who always offers to pay for your meals or who never forgets to open the door for you. There are more important things.
Yes. It’s true. You need somewhat-high standards, but first…
LET’S DEFINE OUR STANDARDS
Think about who God would choose for you, if He could hand-deliver that man right now. What would he look like? Maybe you’ll move beyond the characteristics like cute and brown-haired to something more along the lines of a man with callouses on his hands from working so hard and wrinkles around his eyes from smiling so much.
Keep God in your mind still. When you think about his personality, maybe you’ll move away from the typical funny and smart to supportive through any mess and willing to stand up for what he believes in, and maybe make sacrifices for it.
Finally, what would his ambitions be? Maybe your thoughts will first drift to someone who wants to make a name for himself and be insanely successful. And those aren’t bad qualities to have, in fact they’re great. However, the thing that should come first is his desire to follow God.
More than anything else, the man you look for should have a relationship with God and, every day, be actively seeking out more of that Love. Why? Because all of those other qualities I mentioned will fall into place because of this one. It’s all-encompassing. When you find someone who loves God, he’s going to actively seek God. All of those things you not only want but need in a man, you’ll find. There will be patience, strength, comfort, supportiveness, leadership, courage and most importantly, love. Lots of love.
Because this man is trying to be a more Christ-like man every day, he’ll always be trying to be better for you, too.
HOW DO WE KEEP THE STANDARDS?
Now, women, flip that on yourselves. If you want to keep those standards and hold on to them tighter than the strongest knot in the world, you’ve got to know your worth. If God were looking down on you right now, and you could see yourself through His eyes, what would you look like?
I’m guessing you’d pass by the physical attributes and shallow personality traits, like you did with the imaginary man above. Instead, you’d look at your happiness. Your most precious thoughts and ideas. You’d look at the impact you make on those around you. The power that you hold inside of yourself, that you might sometimes forget you have.
You know that’s what God sees, so why don’t you?
Change your mindset, and you’ll change your life. Strive to be Christ-like, and your standards will never fall. When you know who you are and what you’re worth, you’ll know what you deserve.Strive to be Christ-like, and your standards will never fall. Click To Tweet
WHY SHOULD WE KEEP THE STANDARDS?
So, I’ve told you how to set standards and how to keep them, but now the question is why? What’s the point in keeping these things near to our hearts? No one is perfect, so how could we expect all this and not be a woman who asks too much?
First of all, the reason we need to hold onto these standards is because we deserve to.
Deserve, deserve, deserve.
It’s a word that’s thrown around a lot & has shown up a few times in this post already. However, it’s the one word that truly captures the essence of why. We owe it to ourselves to find someone that’s going to work hard for us, day in and day out. Someone who will teach us and inspire us. Someone that will be there each and every time we fall short of greatness (which, my friends, will be a lot). We need someone to build us up instead of tear us down.We owe it to ourselves to find someone that's going to work hard for us. Click To Tweet
Most of all, we need someone that God’s light shines through, so that in our most desperate times in life, we’ve got someone to show us the way out. Someone to lead when we cannot. Someone to aid in growing our love for God. Someone to pray not only for us, but with us.
We may say that we don’t mind when a man we meet falls short of many of our personal standards, but we do. In our hearts, we long for someone to meet them.
However, and this brings me to point number two, as many standards as we have, we can never expect perfection. There will never be a man in this lifetime who will exactly fulfill every hope and dream we have in our future spouse. We need to not only be open to imperfections, but we need to embrace them. As long as this man tries and tries and tries for us, what more could we need?We need to not only be open to imperfections, but we need to embrace them Click To Tweet
Just as we will continuously fall short of things in life, so will they.
So, yes. We can expect a man to meet all our standards and not be asking too much, because although he should continuously try to meet them, he is still allowed to fall short sometimes. By having standards, we are not asking for perfection. We are asking for real. We are asking for honest. We are asking for someone, as I keep saying, who tries.By having standards, we are not asking for perfection. We are asking for real. Click To Tweet
Never forget, ladies, that the more we ask of a significant other, the more they’re allowed to ask of us. If you expect a man to live up to a standard, make sure you’re matching him by living up to his. Be a woman who tries for your man, and he will try for you. Be a woman who follows God, and he will follow God too.