Sometimes, I find myself so overwhelmed in life, that I feel like I can’t breathe. Maybe it’s the anxiety, or maybe it’s all in my head. Who’s to say, really. I wanted to make up a metaphor to explain to you how I felt, but I thought explaining my actual dreams about it would be better.
I know that when I’m dreaming about running away from someone attacking me, and I almost get there but something happens to stop me instead, that’s this feeling. In reality, that chase would be so much simpler and I wouldn’t be dragged down by invisible forces, but that isn’t reality. My brain distorts those feelings into an image while I’m dreaming, but if you think about it, doesn’t it do that in real life whenever you’ve got anxiety too? Think about it: things that should be easy to complete suddenly become daunting.
That’s your brain distorting your own reality. Every time I almost reach the end of the list of things that need to get done, I have to add five more. It’s the almost that’s dragging me back into the dark abyss of deception.It's the almost that's dragging me back into the dark abyss of deception. Click To Tweet
They say that dreams are a mirror of your life, but I think sometimes they’re an outright window too.
So let’s talk about my crazy plans that I made this past summer. I thought, somehow, that I’d have time for each and every thing I wanted to get done…and then some. Life soon laughed at that hilarious joke though, and showed me truly who’s boss (aka not me). I was placed (as a student teacher) in a district that’s about an hour drive from me, and enjoy the constant convenience of morning and afternoon traffic each day. I love my job, so it’s a tradeoff I’m quite willing to deal with. (Translation: Okay, I really do love my job but I really do hate traffic, comprenden??)
However, the trouble arises when I get home and I’ve got a good four (sometimes five) hours to get everything done that I need to. In my mind, I’d love to work out, eat dinner, blog, read my Bible, read in general, do a little homework, finish up any freelance writing for the week and still spend time with family and outside. Obviously, there’s not nearly enough time for that if I want to go to bed at a decent time.
It is, completely and totally, insanity. At least…that’s how I picture it in my mind. I make lists, but at the end of the day, the to-dos are jumbled in my brain and all pushing themselves to get done first and completely.
Can anyone else relate? Because I know by this point in the year (whether you’re in school or not), things are hectic beyond compare. Who hasn’t thought of how nice it would be if tomorrow got cancelled and was designated as get-shit-done day? (PS I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever sworn on my blog, so you know this is serious business.)
I’m not here today to set out practical examples of exactly what to do when you get to this point, because I’m not sure I even know myself. And trust me, you don’t want to take my advice on the subject just yet. However, I think it’s still important that I remind you all of something.
The busier you are, the less you allow God to sit next to you in life. Rather, He’s taking the farthest backseat (maybe even the trunk or the roof), while you fill the rest of the metaphorical car with other seemingly “more important” things. When you don’t give God that shotgun seat that He deserves and that you need, things are going to fall apart for you. You’re going to let that anxiety creep in, because you’ve got no barriers up to block it. In fact, you’re almost inviting it in.The busier you are, the less you allow God to sit next to you in life. Click To Tweet
When you’re confident and trusting in God, you are okay with whatever path He leads you down, even if it’s one of insanity right now. Why? Because He’s the calm in the storm.
How can I expect to live a life worthy of Heaven, if I'm not even giving God a second of my day? Click To Tweet
Before yesterday, I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat down to study the Bible and use my rosary, and that is sad. There’s no way around that, and no real excuses. How can I expect to live a life worthy of Heaven, if I’m not even giving God a second of my day? In reality, He should be welcomed into all of it.
(And friends, if we’re ashamed to let Him into some part of our life, let us remember that’s probably a sign we need to change something.)
I know that some people are legitimately diagnosed with anxiety, but I think there’s way too many of us who aren’t and still use it as an excuse to go crazy. Everyone feels overwhelmed at times, but the number-one way to combat that is giving our days to God.
We can try every remedy at home to fix that feeling of stress; baths, facials, breathing exercises, exercise in general, Ted Talks, etc. However, those things will only mask the hole that’s growing inside of our souls. While those self-care things are important, they are only secondary to prayer and time alone with God.
So, when I say I’m taking a break in my day, don’t be confused. I’m not talking about a nap or binge-watching the Office (although those things have their place too), I’m talking about spending time with God. His words are the ultimate break from insanity.
And lovely readers, don’t forget that it’s not only okay to step away from the insanity, it’s necessary to continue functioning like all the other normal human beings out there. I don’t care who you are, you cannot do it all. Set goals and write lists, but don’t be angry if you can’t complete everything you wanted to.