When I began writing on this blog, it was slightly terrifying. I knew that if I wanted to get my words and thoughts out there, at some point I’d have to share my work on my personal social media. That meant letting everyone, no matter who they were, see some of the most personal things about my life. (Don’t get me wrong, there’s a level of privacy I still maintain on here and some things about me will never be talked about.)
However, there’s still a major vulnerability you accept when you start something like this. It’s extremely hard to talk about the inner-most workings of your brain when you know colleagues or distant family members could read it. That fear, sadly, keeps me (and I’m sure tons of other bloggers) on this constant teeter-totter of how much is too much.
I’ve had posts where I’ve been completely surface-level and you wouldn’t walk away knowing any more about me. But, sometimes those posts are the ones I purposely gloss over, because I just don’t want to share my imperfections. Instead, what ends up happening is that I make myself look way better than I really am. And trust me, I annoy myself too when I do that.
It’s so hard to admit that I might do that sometimes, but I need to call it out. The last thing I want for this blog is for it to become a place where people come if they want to see what perfect, super-sweet, awesome Catholic looks like. The idea of that makes me cringe, but I think it’s sometimes the image I’m putting off.
Rather, when I’m giving advice in these posts, I want it to seem like I’m someone who literally needs it just as much because I always do. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I always write advice posts because I need the advice myself. In other words, I’m never writing the posts from a place of perfection, where I know everything about the entire world and I’m the awesome advice-guru. Instead, I’m writing it all as a person who doesn’t know much but wants to talk about the things she’s found to be true in her own life.I always write advice posts because I need the advice myself. Click To Tweet
One of the most dangerous things we can do is take our position (in whatever it is we do) and use it to belittle others or create a sense of conceitedness. Just because we’ve been given a platform where a few people are willing to hear what we’ve got to say doesn’t mean we’re automatically better than anyone else. In this world, there’s not one person who’s ever better than anyone else. Our gifts and faults even themselves out, so that we’re on a pretty even playing-field with the rest of the world.I write as a person who doesn't know much but talks about the things she's found 2 be true Click To Tweet
At the same time, though, I think this creates a catch twenty-two. Sometimes, I find myself so apologetic for talking about a certain subject, because I don’t want to come off like a know-it-all, that I tear myself down. I’ll apologize just for the sake of making others happy. It’s true that I’ve got beliefs that a lot of my friends, family and other readers don’t have, but that never should mean I’ve got to say sorry for it. In fact, I know it’s something I should be proud of.
I’ve been through things that maybe others haven’t and I believe things that maybe others don’t, and that gives me a completely unique opinion on life. If I apologize for that, just for the sake of not being different, how can anyone grow from what I write? (Because, that’s the main goal for an advice-blog, right!?)
So, I find myself stuck in the middle of that invisible teeter-totter. I don’t ever want to sound like a know-it-all, high-and-mighty writer, but I also don’t want to belittle myself just because of what it is I write about.
I’m not writing this post with a definite answer to my problem, because I don’t think there ever will be one. I think that as long as I’m doing the best I can and watching my tone, that there’s nothing else I can do. I don’t ever expect everyone to agree with how I write or what I write about, and I honestly think it would be bad if everyone did.I don't ever expect everyone to agree with what I write about & you shouldn't either Click To Tweet
I know that this is something I experience daily, but I have to wonder if there’s anyone else who does too. And, if so, is it just a “blogger thing” or something that others experience somehow in their daily life & career as well?
Sometimes, we don’t come away with answers that we’re looking for. And, although we try, sometimes things can never be perfect. I just hope you can all appreciate the fact that I do try, and I love the level of real-ness I get to have on this platform. I believe it’s something not enough people show anymore, but that they should.