Life

PSA: Painful Break-ups Don’t Last Forever. (I Promise.)

When I look back at my relationship history, there aren’t many time that I can say I was left broken-hearted, shocked, torn-apart and/or confused because of a guy. I was definitely the type of person to freak out and end things before the guy ever had a chance to get to that point. Maybe it was my way of saving my heart, or maybe it was because I knew early on who I was truly interested in and who I wasn’t.

Either way, that doesn’t mean I completely dodged the heartbreak bullet. And honestly, I can still remember vividly the worst break-up I’ve ever been through.

I believe a break-up makes it insanely obvious who you really had feelings for and who you just sort-of…liked.

This particular time, it was the former for me. And do you want to know the worst part? We weren’t ever officially dating, so I couldn’t truly have the freedom to call it a break-up. It was just the ending of a fling, or the falling-out of two close friends.

We weren't ever officially dating, so I couldn't truly have the freedom to call it a break-up. It was just the ending of a fling, or the falling-out of two close friends. Click To Tweet

I spent the entire summer before college crying over this guy. I mean, it was the ugly, Kim Kardashian tears, accompanied by endless Taylor Swift break-up melodies. I attended my own, silent pity-party every time I was driving somewhere when I played her song, “You’re Not Sorry.”

I had nothing else to compare the pain to, so I was going into this new world blindly; hoping I’d find my way out.

I wrote a ton. I talked to friends. I told myself I was getting over our little relation-fling, only to relapse into sadness. I contemplated texting him, but never could. I spent too many hours trying to drive off the pain, and even more wishing he’d call.

Oddly enough, it didn’t take me a lot to fall for him. And it was real; at least, as real as it could be for the first person you’ve truly fallen for. I hadn’t known him that long or that well, but does any of it really matter when your heart has found someone to sincerely latch onto? (Especially when it’s the first time, and you have nothing to compare it to?)

The worst part, though, was how long it took to get myself through those feelings of complete loss. Click To Tweet

The worst part, though, was how long it took to get myself through those feelings of complete loss. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I’m sure I made a ton of mistakes navigating myself out of those rough waters. However, even though I wound up strewn on the beach at the end of it all, I still made it. And better yet: I was driftwood—different from what I once was, changed by what I’d been through, but still worth something.

I was driftwood---different from what I once was, changed by what I'd been through, but still worth something. Click To Tweet

I know how you’re feeling at this moment. You’re probably tired of how many nights you’ve spent crying yourself to sleep, with a gut feeling that it isn’t gonna end any time soon. And yeah, maybe you’re right; the pain might continue. However, you need to hold onto the belief that you’re experiencing all of this for a reason. Sometimes it hurts when your body is healing; your heart is no different.

Don’t feel bad about needing those moments to be alone and listen to sad music. In fact, I’d say you need that more than ever right now. Your mind knows what it needs to get over this; so listen to it.

Break-ups are hard. They suck. They can make you lose sight of who you are for a while. But don’t forget: when you’re at rock bottom, there’s only one direction left to go. At some point, things are going to start turning around. And when they do, you’ll find something more amazing than you ever thought possible. Maybe it’ll be yourself. Maybe it’ll be the love of your life. Maybe it’ll even be a new, deeper relationship with God.

But don't forget: when you're at rock bottom, there's only one direction left to go Click To Tweet

You might never get all the answers and, if I’m being honest, you’re just going to have to accept that. Sometimes we can never explain to ourselves why we did something, let alone to someone else.

However, when you finally crawl out of that dark abyss (and you will), things will look a little brighter. You’ll have a little more love to give. You’ll be a little wiser than you were before. And maybe you’ll end up writing a blog post about it, too. 😉

 

What was the moment you realized your break-up wasn’t going to be forever, and you started to see the “light at the end of the tunnel”? Comment below!

 

Love,

2 Comments

  • Sam Valladares

    “… maybe you’ll end up writing a blog post about it, too!” Haha that made me smile. Your post is full of wisdom and knowledge! I prefer YOUR view that through it all you end up with more love to give, as opposed to what I’ve heard before: that you get jaded. After all the heartbreaks I’ve gone through, I haven’t become discouraged to love, rather I’ve learned how to love people BETTER according to how God wants it. So in a way, would you say that it prepares you for the person you’re going to be married to for the rest of your life?

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